27_Declaring Defeat

Another day of learning my limits

Come, sit with me as we sip our tea, closing this chaotic day week with a cozy cup of chamomile.

Dwell with me on the promise of Galatians 6:9, which in the CSB translation states, "Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up."

Other translations begin with "Don't grow weary..."

This verse is often one of great encouragement to me, motivating me in the midst of hardship to keep going for the promise of greater eternal reward.

This morning, however, I reached a breaking point in the midst of what was likely the thousandth toddler tantrum this week, and I cried out to God, "But I AM weary! I just can't handle this anymore."

I truly wanted to quit that very moment, but there was no one to whom I could hand my resignation. God, in His great wisdom, did not design motherhood with a release agreement.

When my children saw the tears on my face, they suddenly settled down, giving me a moment to pour every feeling and fear into the hands of God. I longed for Him to simply take the trials away, but you and I both know God prefers to meet us in the midst of our suffering. He listened to my complaints and cries, then reminded me of His truth:

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry for help. The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:15, 18

Oh, how accurately the word crushed described my situation. As I near four years of motherhood, I feel less adequate as a mother than I did on the first day, which truthfully gives me a sense of dread about the years that are still to come. I lamented some more to the Lord, and He patiently reminded me:

Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

Painfully, but clearly, God showed me that I was exactly where I needed to be: ready to declare my defeat, stop my striving, and let Him start working.

Would it not be wonderful if I could now say, "Lesson learned! I don't need any more parenting trials."

Yet, I know that just as my children need hundreds of reminders to stay the right course, so do I.

The morning did improve, with a walk in the sunshine and sweet moments in the sandbox, but that is not the end of this story. The end is still being written, one moment at a time, as God calls me to declare my flesh defeated and allow His Spirit to reign victorious in me.

I pray that this life's story, despite all my failings, will bring Him glory when I reach eternity. And how I pray that my children might be there, too. What a reward that would be!

I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:6

Thank you for being my guest. 
In God's word you will find rest; 
Seek Him, be bountifully blessed. 💚