30_Processing Pain

A few lines on loss

Come, sit with me in this sorrow. Only a week has passed since our last conversation, but it feels like a lifetime.

I have been thinking of King David quite often during these days - how he wrote Psalms to process every emotion. I have no pretty paragraphs for this update, so I, too, turn to poetry:

On Monday, April twenty-eight:
For my turn, I must sit and wait; 
The doctor then has time for me, 
And we talk about baby three. 

Doctor B. points me to the chair -
Last time, I saw the heartbeat there. 
That screen has been source of joy, 
When I beheld each bouncy boy. 

Baby's body gives hope a thrill, 
But I soon see that it's too still. 
Doctor's silence confirms my fear: 
Baby's soul is no longer here. 

There aren't words for such pain and grief, 
Only choked sobs of disbelief. 
As I sink in the suffering, 
I cry out to my Lord and King. 

My anguish and anger He's heard. 
Then, God reminds me of His word, 
Like "Rejoice in the Lord always." 
Does that count for the darkest days?
 
Even when my faith feels shaken: 
God has given; God has taken - 
Through it all, blessed be His name,
And let my life His love proclaim.  

Thank you for your prayers during the past week, and please continue to carry our little family to the Lord in prayer. We have seen so much of His goodness, even - or especially - in the midst of this sorrow. You, too, are one of His comforting good gifts to us.

Thank you for being my guest.
In God's word you will find rest;
Seek Him, be bountifully blessed. 💚